Well, Thursday marked my final shift in the world of Wally, so as a tribute to my experience, I'd like to give a shout out to all holiday shoppers from all the retail cashiers out there...
*We love the extra challenge of uncrumpling your wadded up money when you throw it at us once we've run through your purchase
*We consider it a bonus workout when we have to pick up your 100lb bag of dog food you've thrown up on the belt and try and pass it over the scanner to put it on your bill
*Yes, it is our fault that the debit machine isn't working nation-wide at the moment and if we were doing our job better you probably wouldn't have to put this purchase on your credit card instead
*Don't be fooled by the blue smock we wear, we are all-knowing and all-powerful. At any time we can calculate, from the millions of items the store stocks, whether we are "out" of a particular thing, and where in the store it is located exactly
*We also know why you have "insufficient funds" in your bank account that is causing your debit card not to work, are able to contact your local bank branch and straighten the whole matter out before your wife comes back from the bathroom and discovers her Christmas present sitting on the counter. We also can straighten out the whole "the-credit-card-I-just-swiped-was-denied" embarrassment as well.
*When we close our line at 4:30 and try to nicely tell you that we're closed when you run up to us noticing that we have no line even though everyone around you is waiting in a line of 15+, it's because we're just now going on a lunch break, and the orange we ate on our 15 minutes break at 11:00 is long gone. Before cussing us out ask yourself, have I already eaten my lunch today?
*Having a spazz-attack while we wait for someone to call back with a price check doesn't speed up the process. You're the one who didn't look for a price tag on your Eeyore slippers before you picked them up! Duh?
So adios retail-world! I appreciate the opportunity to make some money, but I'm ready to move on now!!
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7 comments:
BWA HA HA HA HA!!! You are so funny. Bye-bye, Wally World!
P.S. We miss you! :-)
HILARIOUS!!!! I totally feel your pain. shoppers are idiots. I used to work the retail world for a while and vowed never to do it again. and now iwant my own boutique. womp womp.
Love it !!!! Having a great laugh thanks
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So funny! Glad you're getting to move on!
Glad you are done with Walmart.
Here are some quotes for your former employer:
"Please have 3 registers open when there are over 200 people in line."
"Try to hire people that don't have a clue how to add in case I try to save them the trouble of digging through the change drawer when I give them $10.75 for my purchase of $5.74"
Glad you are out of that place.
HILARIOUS!!
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